


He Is Following Me In My Head (But I Am All Alone)

by princelogical



Series: Sanders Sides Misc. Work [11]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, M/M, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 20:26:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13489116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princelogical/pseuds/princelogical
Summary: Logan thinks that he and Roman are a flower that never blooms, an ocean that never moves, or rain that never falls. They’re anti-climatic and boring and it’s all Logan’s fault.





	He Is Following Me In My Head (But I Am All Alone)

**Author's Note:**

> ((Purposeless Logince angst. The title is from the song Tiny Cities by Flume with the pronouns changed to he. It’s a beautiful song and I cry listening to it because it fills me with such feeling so I highly recommend you give it a listen.))

Logan thinks too much, of this he is certain. He thinks of mathematics and literature and plans for Thomas’ schedule and space and Roman and-

He thinks a lot about Roman.

Roman is confident and princely. He is full of ideas and energy and he drives Thomas to be passionate and talented. Roman is loud and full of colour and life.

Logan is dull.

///

“Do you like Romeo and Juliet?” Roman wonders aimlessly one day when there’s nothing to be done besides sit in the living room, knee to knee with Logan who pretends to be distracted on his phone. 

Logan frowns. “Why?”

“You’re a nerd who likes books. Just wondering.”

“No, I do not particularly like it that much.”

“Why?” Roman asks like one would ask why someone hit a child.

“It is… sad.”

“You?” Roman asks. “ _You_  think it’s sad, Mr. Cold and Logical?”

Logan frowns again, trying not to be too offended. “I can feel sad.”

“Over a book?”

“Yes.”

“Hm.” Roman sets his phones aside and Logan takes that to mean they’re about to have a longer conversation. “I love it- Romeo and Juliet.”

“Is there a reason why?”

Roman nods earnestly. “Because I think it’s beautiful how two people who everyone would never expect to fall in love, did. Despite the feud between the families.”

“Leave it to you to read it as a love story,” Logan says with a sigh. “It’s a tragedy-”

“A tragic love story.”

“You’re impossible.”

“That I am.” Roman doesn’t reach back for his phone and leans in closer. “Why do you like poetry?”

“It’s interesting.”

“It’s romantic.”

Logan scowls. “Not all poetry is romantic.”

“Truth.” Roman stares at his knees, fingers looking restless, as if begging Roman to let them touch his phone; Logan is boring Roman.

“I can stop bothering you, if you’d like,” Logan offers.

“I started the conversation with you,” Roman says. 

“Do not feel obligated to continue it if you do not wish to do so.”

Roman laughs. “I never feel obligated to do anything.”

So they go to teasing each other~ gentle. His insults and remarks towards Logan feel fond, not sharp like Logan thinks they are sometimes. But maybe Logan’s imagining it. 

Maybe the only thing that keeps Roman from growing bored with Logan is their rivalry. 

///

  1. Logan likes facts and sound logic; Roman likes nonsensical fantasy and fluffy dreams. 
  2. Logan’s boring; Roman’s fascinating. 
  3. Logan’s dull and grey; Roman’s colourful. 
  4. Logan is a planner; Roman is impulsive. 
  5. Logan is a realist; Roman is an optimist. 



Logan tears up his lists sometimes. More often than not. He doesn’t know why he writes them. He feels like he’s tracking a friendship or relationship that will never bloom.

///

Roman asks Logan to go on an adventure with him in the imagination and Logan does just to feel like he’s needed. Roman promises to protect him, sword held high. Logan sputters, bushing and protesting that he doesn’t need protection just as a dragon swoops from the sky; it would have fried Logan if Roman hadn’t jumped in front of him with his shield and sword held high, fighting the dragon away. 

Roman injures his wrist and Logan patches him up. 

“Think I’m brave?” Roman asks with a sloppy and cocky smile as Logan bandages Roman’s wrist.

“Foolish,” Logan corrects, blaming the heat in his cheeks on the aftermath of the fire from the dragon’s mouth. His hands tremble. 

“Are you afraid of me?” Roman asks after a long stretch of silence. 

“No,” Logan says.

“Do I aggravate you?”

“Once in a while.” 

Roman puffs out a small laugh. “Maybe it’s just me but sometimes I think you find me… stupid.”

“I don’t.”

“You called me a half-wit-”

“I thought it was merely a game. The name calling thing.”

Roman hums. “It is. I shouldn’t take it to heart.”

Logan scrapes his toe on the ground and shuts the first aid kit with a sigh. “I am unbearably dull, aren’t I?”

Roman raises an eyebrow. “No?”

“You don’t have to lie to me.”

“I don’t. I’m not lying.” Roman’s eyes run up and down over Logan, gentling when he notices the resignation in Logan’s body language. “I think you’re fascinating.”

///

Logan holds onto those words and dreams of them every night. “ _I think you’re fascinating._ ” 

He dwells on them like they’re significant and to him, they are.

///

“What are you afraid of, Logan?” Roman asks.

“Fear is illogical.”

“Hm.”

“What are you afraid of?”

“Nothing. I’m the embodiment of bravery.” Roman says it like it’s a joke. 

So Logan knows it’s a deflection, just as his answer was.

///

Logan’s dreams are overwhelming, too full of feelings for him to handle. They’re full of colours. Full of life. Full of Roman, grinning. 

“ _I think you’re fascinating._ ”

He stumbles down the stairs, the line between dreams and reality blurring. Roman lays on the couch, watching the television with eyes that look full of inspiration. 

“You should be asleep,” Logan chokes out.

Roman raises an eyebrow. “It’s only 11:00pm, Nerd-o.”

“Is it?”

Roman nods. “Are you all right?” He flick off the T.V. and pats the seat beside him. Logan walks over and sits down. 

“Did you call me fascinating?”

Roman frowns. “Likely. I don’t remember exactly. Why?”

“I was just wondering.”

“Are you okay, Lo? You’ve been acting sad lately.”

Logan swallows and throws away his feelings once again. “I just re-read Romeo and Juliet again.”

Roman just laughs and Logan feels like he’s stuck in a cycle- boring Roman, then surprising him into laughter. Getting closer to one another then evaporating once again. 

It’s all Logan’s fault. Boring endings are rarely read; they’re dull and normal and no one likes normal. They aren’t the fairy tale Roman deserves. 

Logan figures it’s best to not even try for something that will only burn out in the end.

_It was never perfect; it was never meant to last._


End file.
